


Time Doesn't Wait

by Seruzard



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Not really romantic it's just them talking tbh, Sad, Sousuke has a depression, Therapist Makoto, but whatever it's pretty sad, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 21:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5759707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seruzard/pseuds/Seruzard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto worked as a part-time therapist and Sousuke is one of his patients, this happens to be one of his sessions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Doesn't Wait

**Author's Note:**

> This sort of began as a vent, but suddently turned into this.  
> It has material to be an actual fanfic still thinking about it.  
> This probably has some errors, english is not my first language and it's late, I'm probably going to re-read this tomorrow or when i got time

It was a normal day for Makoto, he had classes until 4 pm and he would go back home and prepare his living room for his patients; he was on the third year of the psychology major, he aimed to do a master course on Children Therapy, but he around the second year the money started to lack and he had to find a way to survive and keep in college. So he began helping people, it began with a colleague whose father had died from cancer and it didn’t took much time for him to gain popularity among his neighborhood, due to his charming smile but especially the cheap prices.

 

It was 5:01 pm when the doorbell rang, he got up quickly to open it.

  
“Hello, Yamazaki-kun” Makoto said, Yamazaki Sousuke was one of patients, he was around his age and taller than him which was unusual for Makoto, Sousuke began with the therapy a few weeks before, at the beginning it was hard to make him talk but after a while Sousuke began to talk without having Makoto making the questions; He was a difficult case, his broken dream of becoming an Olympic swimmer and the way he didn’t opened up had led to a giant depression and later after he found out about how bad his mom’s illness was he finally sought for help and had Makoto recommended by an old high school buddy who was in the university swimming team along with Makoto.

  
“Hi, Tachibana-san” Sousuke replied.

  
“I told you, quit with the –san, I’m not a real therapist yet” Makoto told him with a smile “You don’t need to be so formal”

  
Sousuke just nodded and walked toward the couch, Makoto would lie if he didn’t found him attractive, he was dark and handsome, and looked so intimidating and cold that when he met him he couldn’t help but feel a little awkward.

 

\-----------

“So, today I spilled coffee all over myself and began crying like a baby” Sousuke began the usual speech, he would talk about his life and what upset him the most, his feeling about his mother’s condition and his shattered dreams “I felt so stupid, but I couldn’t stop crying”

  
Makoto would listen and take notes from time to time, he was always a good listener and loved helping those around him, Sousuke smiled while speaking about crying over coffee, the smile wasn’t a happy smile but Makoto couldn’t help but think it was pretty and wondered how a true smile would look on Sousuke’s face, he wondered how Sousuke’s sea blue eyes would look filled with life and he wondered if he could ever witness that.

  
“I went to visit my mother again, this morning” The conversation progressed, Sousuke didn’t need for Makoto to speak, not anymore, he just needed someone to listen about his problem and worries that were kept in his brain for far too long “she isn’t looking any better, the doctors say she doesn’t last longer, maybe 2 months”

  
“How old is she?” Makoto asked breaking his silence, Sousuke lifted his head and his eyes locked with Makoto, they’re filled with sadness with a hint of pain.

  
“She 47, she’s not even that old, she’s just unlucky, I guess it runs in the family” He looked at the window where Tokyo kept going, the city never stopped with the lights, constant movement and noise. Makoto’s living room was quiet the occasional car horns and ambulances from the life outside were the only noises that lingered around the air.  
“But part of me wishes she died now” Sousuke sighed “You know, for the past months all she been doing is suffering, at least it would give her some peace”

  
Makoto wished that the way he looked at Sousuke was the same has the way he looked at the crazy cat lady whose eldest cat was dying, or the woman who struggled with OCD from the floor above, or even his friend’s brother who was afraid of water, but he knew it wasn’t. Makoto wanted to see Sousuke happy, just like he wanted every other of his patients, but with Sousuke he wanted to take a bigger part in it, he wanted to be one making Sousuke happy, he wanted to be his happiness.

  
It was a selfish thought and Makoto knew it, he had realized his feelings for a while but didn’t plan on telling Sousuke anytime soon, he knew that if he did Sousuke wouldn’t believe it nor return them, he would have told him it was not love or a crush but pity, because Sousuke thought he was too broken for anyone to love him, he saw the way people looked at him, how the doctors looked sad when they talked about him about his mother disease how the nurse looked at him and whispered when he visited her, how is mother looked at him when he spoke about the physiotherapy that he wanted to give up on but his mother insisted on him to keep doing it because it was hope and that’s what he need to move on after she was gone.

  
“It’s funny…” Sousuke began again “They say that if my mom had had the accident sooner she could have been saved”

  
A few months before Sousuke’s mother was involved in a car accident, the injuries weren’t serious, but thanks to that, the doctors were able to detect a tumor on the lower half of her left lung, too advanced to be cured.

  
“A blessing disguised as a nightmare” the word slipped from Makoto’s mouth like a whisper but loud enough to make Sousuke’s eyes sift to him. As soon as his gaze locked in the brown haired, Makoto’s felt small, he began to get lost in the dead ocean that was Sousuke’s eyes, trying to search for life in its depth.

  
“Yeah… I remember when they called me saying that she was in car crashing, I thought she was going to die” there was a hint of a smile on his face, but soon fainted has his line of thoughts progressed “There was a time I had hope, we they told me she was okay, but then hope had to die again”  
Sousuke never cried during his sessions, there were time like this that I was better if he had cried, Makoto knew that was a struggling to keep it inside, he was too proud to cry in public, to show any real weakness.

  
“They said that she needed time to recover…” Sousuke’s voice began shaking, trying to control the tears being created in his eyes, trying to breath through the knot in his throat, controlling every muscle of his body to keep standing still “but time doesn’t wait”

  
The words echoed in Makoto’s ears, he didn’t knew if this was still about Sousuke’s mother or his injury or even his life itself, he knew it meant a lot to Sousuke, this talks, the time they spent together as strangers talking to each other formally despite being the same age. Makoto wished he could have met Sousuke before he started hating being alive, he knew that his existence in his life wouldn’t mean much, and all that happened was meant to be like that, but he wanted to meant a Sousuke that wasn’t broken because he knew that even if he tried to fix him some parts of him were already missing. He wanted to believe that they were meant to meet like this, to fix each other, he wanted to believe that Sousuke wanted to be fixed by him, and he was just not one more stranger Sousuke was trying to use to fix himself alone. Makoto doesn’t remember if Sousuke cried after he said those words if he did it was in silent because Makoto was focused on the sounds from the outside, were time was moving on just like it was inside his living room but where life seemed to accept it and walk side by side with it, inside there was two humans that time didn’t waited for. One that rushed behind it trying to save himself and the other who was stuck in it, trying to move but only to feel his legs getting heavier making it harder to move each time he tried, the smalls steps he made were nothing compared to the one time had already made, he saw it disappearing from his sight trying hard to follow but not being able to move forward.

  
It took a few moments for Makoto to come back to reality, he tried to keep the conversation going, but still hearing Sousuke’s voices resonating in his head, he wished he was brave enough to hug Sousuke right there, and maybe Sousuke would have cried, because he never did.

**Author's Note:**

> idk, tell me what you think.
> 
> Should I make a fic out of this? Like from the begining when the met until the end (whenever that is)


End file.
